Dear Papa Archives

So what do you suggest we do? There's no way in hell that I'm sharing my woman with that overgrown mutt.

P.S.
Dad, I hope you're not too angry with me. We named the little guy after you. He has your smile. We'll bring him over tomorrow for a visit, hopefully housenki can bribe the gate keepers to let us in for a few minutes.

Sincerely,
Inuyasha

Dear Inuyasha,
Oh, no no, I'm not angry. ... I'm OUTRAGED! What is WITH you boys? I mean, I'm glad that you seem to be adjusting to having a baby around, but you seem to be overlooking the rather important fact that you committed RAPE. Don't you feel at ALL ashamed of yourself? Why the sudden lack of responsibility lately? Is this some sort of twisted revenge on me for not being there for you when you were a kid? If so, I implore you to take your vengeance out on me and not the innocents whom you supposedly care about. This just isn't like you boys at ALL, and I'd really like to know what's going on here.

Dear Brandy,
I assure you, I make sure I am fully clothed whenever I am within the range of the camera. At least... I try to...

After seeing how much transportation issues, the whole capture of souls issue goes, we have reconsidered our previous request for transport. We are curious if you do have any other candidates for our "Executive Retreat in the Underworld"? Please be advised we have put the sword Sou'ugu back into the world. Apparently some one named Bush is using it. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Aribiters of Hell

Dear Arbiters,
A shrub is using the sword? So he's just sitting around in his castle while sending floods of expendable troops to go fight his personal enemies for him? Jerk. Sounds like a prime candidate for you guys to get ahold of once his time is up.

Dear Soul,
Hm, I must've missed the memo. I've just been sitting around dead here for 200 years and no one's told me I'm free to go. But becoming a god in the next life? Hmm, a bonafide inu-gami... Doesn't sound like too bad a deal! Unfortunately, when you're reborn you lose all memory of your previous life, and I don't want to forget about my family just yet. That's probably why I'm still here.

Did Sesshoumaru meet Izayoi when you were alive? If so, what is his reaction to her?

Sincerely,
merely curious

Dear merely,
He did, actually, though I was not there to witness the exchange. Izayoi told me that he'd stopped by on one occasion to see what sort of creature could be so fascinating to his father. Apparently Sesshoumaru wasn't impressed by the three-second impression he got of her, so shrugged her off as a passing interest of mine.

Hows Hell going for you? ::Ahem::Its been a long time hasn't it? The lords of the northen and eastern territory were shocked to find out that you have died... you were suppose to come to our meeting but you got side track by some dragon witha huge zit on his forhead named ryokutsei... ( I dont know how to spell his damned name!)

Bleh... and he killed you... we all attended your funeral. Sorry we couldnt burry you... you died in such a damn weird way, you were just to damn big so we decided to put your body in a purty pearl and send it off in your youngest son's right eye or left... bwahahahahah! >.>

I cried, the Lord of the North was expressionless and Lord of the East smirked deviously...

Sesshoumaru wrote a lovley poem as well, at your funeral, it goes:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My Daddy is dead,
And that damned dragon is too.

It was beautiful! Speaking of your son he is your heir of the Western domains and he hasn't come to any of our meetings!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SKIPPED OUT ON STRIP POKER NIGHT! YOU JUST CAN'T DO THAT! Remember when we use to play? Loads of fun we all had! Anyways talk to your son, and we all miss you! ::sobs::

When I go to hell we can all play strip poker again... (those were our special meetings for discussing about territory mwhahaha)

Sincerely,
Your old friend, Lady of the south Nariae-sama

Dear Nankoku no Nariae,
... Huh. Sorry, I guess I didn't know there was a meeting... Or that the lords of the other territories gave a snot about what the others were doing... So, you're the lady of Nankoku? Heh, I'll bet you spend your days soaking up sun on Okinawa's beaches and fending off tourists. But, yep, I'm dead, so now Saigoku just... doesn't have an uber youkai wandering around policing everything. No biggie. Dunno about the rest of you guys, but my position was purely volunteer work. Therefore, Sesshoumaru didn't inherit my title, so please don't try to drag him to your little "meetings" if he doesn't wish to attend. But, thanks for thinking of me.

Dear Koharu,
Actually, I think it's satellite, powered by Saimyoushou relay stations. So, basically, he can get any channel, but they all play reality TV 24/7.

Dear eggplant-face,
... Ever have one of those days where it's nothing but bad news? But thanks for the info. *calls up the Underworld Neighborhood Watch*

Dear Sesshomaru,
... Oh god, not you too! *pounds head on desk repeatedly* Where did I go wrong? Why are my boys turning into irresponsible manwhores? It's Naraku, isn't it? He's been releasing a youkai aphrodesiac this entire time, and it's finally starting to affect you boys! Right? ... Gah. ... I need a hug. *crunch* ... Housenki, that hurts...

P.S
They still haven't named the baby. What do you suggest?
Sincerely,
Grandpa Higurashi

Dear Jii-chan,
.... *daze* ....
I... uh... urgh.... *clutches head* ... I did not want to be told this. Inuyasha is... Inuyasha... I.... What do I say? I cannot explain his behavior, since I figured his mother raised him to be less of an animal than that. He should know better than to just go sticking it in any girl that smells nice.
*deep breath* Okay. What's done is done. I can't change it, so let's just deal. Although I'm going to have to have a nice, long talk with that boy about how to treat women he supposedly cares about.

"... I'll have you know that I did in fact cheat on Izayoi once. With another human, even...."

YOU DID WHAT??

Sincerely,
Izayoi

Dear Izayoi,
Amazing how you conveniently left out the "It was for a noble cause though" part. Don't worry, dear, I've already explained it to you, and you were okay with it. *pat pat*

Dear Schnoog,
I tried once. It made my ears bleed.

WASSSSUP! i think its lind of werid living in your skelton but if works for you go then party on. Also since you have internet do you cable or dish? Plus do you play video games, also do you have a night where you and the guys paly poker? Also sorry if i got to nosey about what you do in your sapre time. Now if kagura did not die what were the chances of those two getting togetehr and producing you a grandson. A kaze-inu, intersting combo, but shes dead. Also for soem werid reason i have this feeling that she will come back to life some way. Also what do you think of Kagome? I know your dead and all but have you ever tried ramen. Well thanks for reading this man, Rest in peace!
Sincerely,
Dragon of the Burning Flame

Dear Dragon,
Unfortunately, we're still on dial-up down here, and you have to go through the underworld hub where they filter just about everything, so... it's kind of annoying. I've been pushing to get us upgraded to at least DSL, but service sucks around here. So, I'm just puttering away on this little 56K.
I don't delve into video games that much, no. If someone comes over and challenges me, sure, I kick their butt, but it's all too easy. If I don't like someone, I'll punch him for real rather than have a little digitial guy hit his digital guy.
If Kagura didn't die... I dislike these "if blah blah happened differently" questions, since it's impossible to tell. My guess would be no, she and Sesshoumaru would not get together. She's too independent to have any sort of guy weigh her down, not to mention the burden of children. It would be more of a "Thanks for your help! See ya!" sort of deal, in my opinion.

Dear fangirl,
It stands for "Original Animation Video", and refers to any animated episode or feature that is released directly to video rather than being put on TV or in theaters first.

First I'm honored to be writing a letter to the great Inutaishou *bows*. I came across your website and i'm surprised how death is really like. No sex? Chikushou.. I don't want to die.. ^_^ Then come to find out that the after-life is really boring, so I took the liberty of sending you and your roomys some games! ^_^ *ships a pack of cards, tennis balls, soccer balls, volleyballs, basketballs and whiffle balls* I hope that helps take care of your boredom. That and I brought gifts for you *gives a box of milkbones, beggin' strips and slips small piece of paper into milk bone box* There ^_^ *whispers* that piece of paper is a free pass into heaven, now you can visit Izayoi.

I have a couple of questions.. Question 1, May I pet your tail?? Please?? If not, can I trade it for a hug? Question 2, how old are you really? I was trying to calculate how old Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru was. Then I found out Sesshoumaru is well over 400 years old. Since 1500, 400 years ago, you had that war with those cats. Sesshoumaru still looked the same, so I'm guessing that you both must be well over 600. So how old are you? And by what age did you have Sesshoumaru? Why aren't you in heaven with Izayoi? I always thought you were a very nice daiyoukai.

Please excuse my name. Contrary to what it means, i'm a very nice girl! It's just well, i'm a demon and you know how demon parents like to name their children radical names. I mean hey, Sesshoumaru ^_^ Hope you have fun with all the things I sent you!
Sincerely, “{‚苶‚¤ (Ikarikuruu)

拝啓怒様,
Huh, radical name no kidding. I've never heard of youkai naming their kids after verbs before, but... I dunno, maybe some do. Besides, in that one parody I read, Kagome wanted to name her baby "Sit". Must be a modern thing.

Anyway, no, you may not pet my tail. But you may have a hug. Just don't try to fondle the tail in the process. *hug*. And how old am I really? Well, by now I'd be a thousand years old at least, but at the time I died, I think I was somewhere around 800. As for the battle with the cats... I prefer to think that never happened, considering it's a temporal paradox. It took place 400 years ago, yet Sesshoumaru looks older than he does than at the beginning of movie 3, which was only 200 years in the past. As for why I'm not in heaven, it's because I'm a youkai. Youkai aren't allowed into heaven, plain and simple. So, I appreciate the pass, but I'm afraid it would be useless for me. I'll make good use of the various balls though, I assure you.

It was with great sympathy that we learned of the loss of potency that seems to effect dead youkai.

We have a product that we believe may help. Please read the enclosed informational pamphlet, and if you are interested, contact us for your free sample. If you do find our product to be beneficial, we hope that you might consider penning an endorsement. A celebrity such as yourself could help us to make valuable inroads in the as yet untapped impotent-taiyoukai market.

If you are not interested, perhaps you might forward this offer on to your son Sesshoumaru? We understand from a recently deceased wind sorceress that he may also be suffering from "poor sword performance."
Sincerely,
The Makers of Viagra

Dear Pfizer,
Wow, that's great! Hm, but is there anyone around here for me to use it with? Oh, I can use it to make up with my ex! I'm sure she'd forgive me after a dose of good ol' puppy lovin'. ... It does work on women, right? Because it's pretty pointless if I'm the only one in the mood...

As for Sesshoumaru's sword's inability to perform, I'll have you know that it was in no way his fault. The girl he was with just had nothing for him to stick it in.

Dear Inuyasha,
;_;

Dear Selene,
Er... I likely wouldn't have even met Izayoi if my first wife hadn't died. She kept me on a pretty tight leash. Not that that was a bad thing, since I tended to get a little too involved in things that were none of my business if left to my own devices. Granted, this also means that Izayoi would have likely died a horrible death had I not intervened, but... I wouldn't have known that... I've given up dwelling on what could have been. There are some things that I regret happening, but there's no way of knowing if life would have been any better if it happened a different way.

This is an automated message sponsored by the Disney Corporation. You have hereby been selected to participate in the testing of the newest roller coasters and theme attractions at your local Disneyland, though, due to the new information just received that has informed us that you are in the underworld, your invitation is hereby revoked. Our apologies for wasting your time.

P.S. With us both being dead... I havn't really seen you around. What's up with that?
Sincerely,
Walt Disney

Dear Disney,
You're not a youkai, are you? Why would I see you around, then?
Ah, so that's how you big corporations work. Select people "at random" whom you know will be ineligible, just make it look like you tried to be fair. If that's the case, I'll give my invitation to Inuyasha and Kagome. I'm sure they would appreciate it more than I could.

Dear enya,
Of course not! When I started going out with her, I had hundreds of years of experience behind me, so there was no way I'd make a fool of myself! That's not to say there weren't times when things got... awkward... but I didn't do anything like run around dressed as a woman or anything. That's puppy stuff. I'll give you a hug if you don't ask anything more about that. *hug*

*sigh* Now, I have forgiven a lot of things of the centuries- Your little western conquest, the get together with the boys, your habit of leaving your dirty fundoshi on the bath house floor, and your mid-century crisis resulting in Inuyasha.

He's an adorable boy, has your eyes.

Which reminds me. You will be happy to know Izayoi and I got along splendidly after your death. Yes, we even went shopping together on numerous occasions. We bought you slippers. And would have buried them with you had you not hid your grave thus denying us all the chance to mourn. So, really it's your own fault if your feet are cold in the afterlife. However, I am saddened to say, Izayoi never managed to teach Inuyasha the importance of footwear. She did teach him to make a lovely ginger tea. It’s very soothing on these late summer evenings. Inuyasha is such a sweet boy. Kind of slow though.

But I digress...

I also put up with your hobbies such as making swords out of your teeth. Honestly, darling I'm still pondering this one. As everyone knows toenails make far better swords.

But, I digress once more...

Through all of those trivial matters I stood by you and supported you. However, I do draw line at your continued insistence that I am among the departed. I know most likely you are merely pandering to your fan girls who would think less of you if you were not completely infallible. Or would think less of you for having a wife and a girlfriend. Even if it was perfectly acceptable in the time period.

And honestly, dear? Fan girls at your age? Of course our dear son, is not much better. In fact I do believe he's worse.

Speaking of which if you do hear from Sesshoumaru, please, please request he clean his room. It's doubtful it’s been cleaned since your little "accident" with Ryuukossei.

With love
Sincerely,
Your wife

Dear honey,
Wait, so you faked your death, then? ... Whoa. And I'm sure you of all people would realize that I'm not the type to do the "socially acceptible" thing. "Don't wear a fluffy, honey, the other youkai will laugh at you." "Don't be nice to humans, honey, they'll take advantage of you." "Don't make swords from your teeth, honey, tonails are more the rage." And of all things you're complaining that I was monagamous? "Honey, I wish you'd cheat on me more." Um... okay, dear, whatever you say... Sorry for considering your feelings and all, regardless of common practice...

And when you accuse me of being innfallible, I'll have you know that I did in fact cheat on Izayoi once. With another human, even. ... It was for a noble cause though. Really. *cough*

Dear Xellas,
You know, it's the funniest thing. Hakudoushi isn't here. Since he had no heart, I'm guessing there was nothing to bring over to this world. Either that or since Naraku's heart hasn't been destroyed, he's still alive-ish somewhere inside of Miroku's Kazaana. Either way, Kagura's free of him at the moment.

Dear Menjai,
You.

Dear Tami,
Only when I take my boots off. Otherwise I tend to kick myself in the head...

I love the webcam, I see you like listening to music. I heard a song about you: "Papa was a rolling stone. Where ever he laid his fluff was his home. And when he died all he left us was alone" I thought maybe your boys had written it, but it was by somebody named "Temptations".

Any way Papa, what's in your library? It must be huge. What's your favorite centuries music? Might I suggest you check out late 20th century American Popular music it kicks serious butt.

Oh Papa there's a full moon tonight...how 'bout we howl? Aaarrrooooww!

Sincerely,
Chuu

Dear Chuu,
Howl at the full moon? Hm, haven't done that in a long time. I tried to break the habit, since it annoyed the neighbors.

My favorite music? While I guess the late 20th century stuff is okay, everything from every part of the world started sounding the same. I preferred the late 19th to early 20th century stuff, when music was advancing in complexity, but still retained regional flavor. Sigh... nowadays no one writes anything remotely complicated without it just sounding like mindless noise. I like stuff with individual personality.

While we have reconsidered repossessing your bones, we do want to repossess that strange wind woman made from a hanyou. Do you think you could arrange suitable transportation? (The bus to Hell broke down.)

Also we would like to know if you want Sou'ugu back? We don't want it around any more
Sincerely,
Arbiters of Hell

Dear Hellspawn,
Heckno, I don't want that sword back! I just hung onto it so that someone wouldn't do something stupid with it. It's you guys' sword, so it's your problem now.
As for Kagura... leave her alone, guys. She's had enough to deal with right now and really doesn't need you harrassing her. Besides, I don't think you could catch her. She's currently on her 'round- the-underworld sightseeing adventure.

Dear Ms. Hill,
On the contrary, it's just the opposite. I rather doted on Sesshoumaru as a child, and because of it, he grew up quite spoiled. Unlike me, who had to fight for his high position in the world, Sesshoumaru was born into the influence I possessed, and I guess he took it for granted. Always looking down on everyone because his dad was top dog, and I really didn't do anything to stop him. When I finally did realize that even my beloved son was deserving of punishment once in a while, he was pretty bitter about that, and when I began to wean him away from me after he grew up, he took that as even more of an insult, considering he'd had me wrapped around his finger as a child. Yeah, I... kinda messed up. But he's still a good kid. Takes after his mother. His mother ate people, but...

Just wondering... if Kikyou died again, will she go to heaven, or to hell?
Sincerely,
Suikotsu

Dear Suikotsu,
Hm, I guess it would depend on how she died. Technically, you're only allowed one chance to go to heaven, and since she was ripped out of it, I don't know if she'd be allowed back under normal circumstances. But, if she died a martyr or something, I guess they'd consider letting her back in. I don't know too much about the workings of heaven, seeing that I'm a youkai and no matter how selfless I am, it's not an option for me.

My sincerest apologies for accusing you of going after my granddaughter. It seems the father of her child is one of your sons (though she won't tell us which one.)

She did say something about getting drunk one night and waking up in the arm of your eldest son...

But then again, Inuyasha also went after her when she was in heat that one time...

Well, if you could get the truth out of your unruly sons, I would really appreciate it. I don't exactly fancy having a 1/4 or 1/2 breed demon for a grandchild. (No offense to you, but we humans like to stick together).

Sincerely,
Grandpa Higurashi

Dear Higurashi Jii-chan,
Hurp! *chokes on morning tea* .... Guh... When did this happen?! Funny, I'd had your granddaughter pegged as being slightly more responsible than that. Honestly, she's on this dangerous quest with new enemies coming at her every day, and she has the audacity to let herself get... what's wrong with these people?! And I can't see either one of my boys doing that with her. Sesshoumaru would sooner kill a human than sleep with one, no matter how smashed he is. And Inuyasha... Inuyasha wouldn't know what to DO with a girl even if he found one. That boy is still so confused about many things... You sure it wasn't, like, Naraku or something?

i have a problem. at school, i don't really talk to people. i'm somewhat afraid of not being accepted which distances me from other people. though i'm naturally a loner, it gets boring not having anyone to talk to after lunch when everyone goes outside. how can i become more social and get some friends? i only have a few very good friends, but they don't go to my school so the most i can do is talk to them on the phone. please give a little advice... and a hug. for your help, fetch the wiffle ball. *throws ball*
Sincerely,
Distant from Society

Dear Distant,
Ah, the loner paradox. While characters in fiction who are loners tend to be highly sought-after, loners in real life are generally ignored. Basically, if you don't send signals that you're willing to make friends, people won't approach you. And that fear of not being accepted is what's doing it. People don't trust you if you don't trust them. And, really, there's no loss in someone not accepting you as their friend on the first try. They're still not you're friend, so you're no worse off than you were before, and as an added bonus, you know for certain that they don't like you so you can stop wondering whether they'll accept you or not. You just have to be approachable and act normal. Trying to come across as "special" or "cool" is too intimidating for people. If they like you, you can tell them what's special or cool about yourself later. When people really want something to cling to, they go for the normal and recognizeable.

Well, I gave the advice. Now for the hug. *hug*

on your webcam you look really bored. do you ever get sick of all the questions?

oh if you ever grow out of your kimono(is it called that?) and armor, can i have them (puppy dog eyes) puleeeeaase?
Sincerely,
Pitplayer67

Dear Pitplayer,
Of course I don't get bored of questions! It's pretty much the only thing to do around here! Now, I admit, I've been getting a lot more questions recently, so I've had to be choosier about which ones I reply to, but they're still all fun to read!

And, unfortunately, since I'm dead, I'm all done growing, so I don't think I'll be growing out of my clothes anytime soon. Besides, just look at my armor on my skeleton! Do you really think you'd fit in that? Or are you trying to build a house or something?

Dear Secchan,
Well, I certainly wouldn't be much help babysitting, but... hm, who would be good? ... What about Kaede? She's a nice old lady who's non-judgemental about youkai, so I'm sure she'd have no problem taking care of the kid for you for a while. If you could get through the well, Kagome's mom would be another good choice, and Rin would even have Souta to play with. Or maybe Jinenji could take care of her. Bokusen'ou is pretty reliable, since you always know where to find him, but... he's not very exciting company and if Rin should wander off, it's not like he can do anything. Yup, there are a couple of possibilities, but I'd say you should stick to people you know.

Dear ... um... wifey-kins?,
*rubs cheek* I think I deserved that. *sigh* She died in childbirth, so now retains her weepy hormonally-imbalanced bitchiness for eternity. Really, she wasn't this bad in life. And don't worry, hon, I've told our son about you in private. But, really, it's hard for him to be attached to a person he never knew, sort of like how Inuyasha doesn't seem to care one way or another about me. You're allowed to be angry about it, but I wish you'd take out your frustrations in a... less violent manner. That stung.

Dear Inuyasha,
Er, he was born as a dog, naturally. Transforming into a human is something you have to learn. Not only that, while his mother was capable of taking human form, while she was pregnant with him she had to remain in her original form at all times, because since the baby she was carrying couldn't transform, it would probably get kinda ugly if she changed into a human but the baby remained a giant dog...

Sincerely,
IRS agent

Dear Satan,
... You do know that my roommate has an infinite supply of diamonds, right? I'm sure he could compensate. Take my bones and I'll stomp on you.

Sincerely,
Granpa Higurashi

Dear Jii-chan,
... The hell? Listen, sir, if I've been randomly resurrecting myself and having flings with my sons' girlfriends without my knowledge, I sincerely ask you to beat me senseless.

Sincerely,
Your Izayoi

Dear Izayoi,
"Urges", huh? Heh heh, I still have that effect on women. ... Wait, "urges"?! As in... people who go to heaven DON'T lose potency? Oh, not fair, not fair! That's it, I'm going to find some way to break into that place, even if I have to blow up a few angels in the process, and I'm gonna sweep you off your feet and... you can guess what would come next. *wink*

Dear Izayoi,
But... rolling a mouse over a wiffle ball isn't terribly effective...

And don't worry, honey, I'm not looking at pornography. It would only depress me... Besides, nothing can beat the real thing. *smooch* I'm glad you feel you can get along with my ex, even if it is to... gang up on me.

See, I have been having these really bad problems... it seems that Inu Yasha keeps finding a way to foil my plots... it seems like nothing will work, not to mention I have deep feelings for his hussy Kikiyo, which for some reason I cannot help... I tried so many times to forget about her, I noe she's just dirt and bones but for some reason I find that my heart beats wildly for her. Is this something that i'm attracted to? Is it normal... is bearing children yourself normal as well? Am I a good father... I mean I have had so many children Goshinki, Mousou, Kagura, Kanna and many more...

Another thing, KEEP YOUR SON, SESSHOUMARU, PAWS OFF MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER/UNDERLING KAGURA!!! Dog demons have a knack for horneyness and I don't want my precious angel/ she-devil to be a victom of him!

Btw... do dog demons do it "doggy-style"?

Sincerely,
Naraku

Dear Naraku,
Psh, yeah, and you sure found a right proper way of breaking those two up. And thanks to that, now your little "angel" is hitting on me instead. You complain about dogs being horny all the time, but jeez, just look around yourself. You're obsessively pining after a corpse, Kagura's pining after my oldest boy, Musou's pining after the corpse's reincarnation, Mouryoumaru's swinging it a little too freely... Am I the only one here who has a semi-normal sexuality? And I'm DEAD so I can't even HAVE sex anymore.

Doggy style? You do realize I'm a dog and that is therefore the only way TO do it. Granted, when I take human form, I can be a little more versatile. Definitely one of the pluses of falling in love with a human. More variety in the bedroom. *nod nod*

Dear Momensarak,
Of course I'm not colorblind! That would imply I didn't know how to distinguish between certain colors. Now, perhaps I do not see color in the same manner that you do, but I can still tell the difference between red and green and all that nonsense. Good thing, too, since I'd wager Inuyasha would look rather silly wandering around in all green. Although, in the original legend, the fire rat cloak was described as being blue... granted, the fire rat cloak in the original legend was also a fake, so I can still be confident that I'm not seeing blue as red.

So you noticed my "plump, bouncy bon-bons," did you?

I've decided to give up on your cold fish son. You know... you're just as good looking, you've got BOTH your arms, and the fact that you've got two kids running around with two different baby mamas shows that YOU know what to do with a lively, good looking wind sorcer--- I mean, female.

So I think it's time to blow this world and check out youkai hell. Care to show me around? (wink, wink)

Sincerely,
Recently Deceased Wind Sorceress

Dear Kaze-tsukai,
Er... It's a very lovely offer, but I think it's best we keep this platonic. I've expressed my distaste in stealing my son's girlfriends before, and while you're not quite as "official love interest" as Kagome is... it still doesn't quite feel right. And since I died married to Izayoi, I'm still technically married... Eh heh...

Besides, you just got here, so you don't know about the whole "loss of performance" thing yet... Poor girl.

I realize we've never met before, in either lifetime (understandable, since i was a teenager when you died, and I don't get around much in the afterlife) , but I'd like to clear up any feelings between us. Although being dead sucks, I understand your firstborn son's slaying me for my arm led to a valuable cause, giving your younger son the strength to beat him away.

Although I don't carry a grudge (unlike the others up here, who seem to have started an Anti-Fluff movement, any avaliable arms swinging in fury), I have to ask; can Sesshomaru's sword heal his wounds, if he becomes more adept with the blade? Just out of concern for my fellow, living, demons.

Sincerely,
River Dragon

Dear River Dragon,
Nope, Tenseiga is pretty much only good for restoring the dead. Now, as for the arm thing, I suppose it could work. If he revived the arm, provided you were a youkai, you could likely reattach it. But that's only if the arm was given a clean cut, since there are limits to its restorative ability. Basically, you need enough parts left to make a living body.

Why is it that when girls get raped, they get pregnant on the first shot? And why is it that when women DO want to have children, they have to go through, like, 10 tries? Why?
Sincerely,
Jakotsu

Dear Jakotsu,
... For once you're asking me something ever-so-slightly less obscene. Hm... maybe because guys are more likely to rape a girl if he smells that she's in heat and can't control himself, while couples trying for a child just do it whenever. ... Maybe. I dunno, I used the good ol' rhythm method with Izayoi until we were ready to have kids, at which point I knew her cycle and was able to get her pregnant on the first real try. ... Why you would care, I have no idea.

How much are your separate teeth worth? Fairyworld is running short of building supplies and we'd like to have one of your molars, if that is possible...^_^
(Whips out a bag of quarters) So, how much?

Sincerely,
Tooth fairy

Dear Tooth fairy,
One of my molars, huh? Hm, I suppose I could do without one of my back teeth if it was donated for a good cause. Besides, I'm sure Housenki could make me a replacement right quick. *opens mouth* hah ah a hech *yank* ... OW! ... Okay, here ya go! And, it's free of charge, ma'am. Money's no good down here, anyway. Now, if you had some super dental-care doggie biscuits...

My gf just died!

And my only other potential love interest is a five year old girl.

What do I do now?!?!?!?
Sincerely,
Sesshoumaru-sama

Dear Sesshoumaru,
... Go on a daytime talkshow?

Hey man, I just got here from the world of the living and I need someone to show me around. I hear you're top dog around here so I figured you could show a free spirit youkai like me how to have fun around here. What do you say?
Sincerely,
Kagura

Dear Kagura,
Eh, this is a place you're better off exploring yourself. However, I'd suggest you avoid the wolf pack, since I don't think they like you very much, since you killed them and all. Why don't you hook up with Hiten and Manten? Seems like wind and thunder would hit it off pretty well. Oh, and in a couple of days, Abi-hime is going to be having a concert to promote her new "Firebird" single, if you wanna check that out.

Dear Ungai,
'Fraid I can't do that, considering you're currently speaking to a youkai who was friendly with humans. You humans always need to find something to complain about. Youkai come and destroy your villages, and you're all like, "Wah wah, I wish youkai wouldn't be so mean!" And so some youkai decide to become friends with humans, and now you're all like, "Wah wah, I wish youkai wouldn't be so nice!" I mean, make up your mind, man! You're never gonna be pleased if you keep changing your standards!

Dear Rin-chan,
"Fall in love"? Why, that's the feeling you get when you want to be with someone forever. Typically it's what preceeds getting married and having children. You know, a person you feel as close to as you do yourself; someone whom you could share anything with. And, naturally, someone you honestly care about. I guess it's a little hard to explain or demonstrate.

P.S. If your son's ever visit your grave again, give them this from me! *hands over two very disturbing pictures of him in a woman's kimono*

CIAO my little grumpy wumpy mad blood dog hound!!!
*runs as fast as he can for his life*
Sincerely,
¤Jakotsu¤

Dear Ja-ketsu,
... Korosu...

Dear Sesshoumaru,
Oi oi, calm down. Here, have a Scooby Snack. And you seem to forget the fact that Tenseiga has not always existed. Your mother died long before I had it commissioned. Now go off and play with your minions and be content cherishing the legacy of your late mother rather than questioning the reasons as to why she's not around anymore.

(BIG MANGA SPOILERS -- I don't want any Papa fans reading my letter and being mad that I didn't warn them...)

I see that Kagura recently bit the big one in the manga. So, did she come visit you at all? Do you get along? Did you offer her a spot on the wiffleball team or anything? Just wondering. I'm sure it's nice to get some fresh blood down there that isn't completely evil or psychotic.

...hmm. I don't think I want to know what's going to happen down there once Naraku gets killed.
Sincerely,
Youji

Dear Youji,
Yup yup, I saw Kagura in as soon as she got here. At first she looked at me and thought Sesshoumaru had, like, committed suicide and followed her into death, until, of course, I explained that I'm his dad. She thought that was pretty neat. But, she's got that whole "freedom" thing going on, and since she just got here, she's been off exploring, and will probably be doing so for the next couple of years. But, I told her if she needed a place to crash, the skeleton is always open.

As for when Naraku gets here... Let's just say that the majority of the denizens of the youkai afterlife aren't too terribly fond of him. *cracks knuckles* It's amazing how much more pain you can receive when you can't die.

Dear Rin fan,
Oh, an OAV almost seems like a certainty at this point. The only question is how long it'll be before it's released. Obviously no earlier than 2005, but you never know. It was my understanding - though I may be understanding incorrectly - that the TV series was ending because it was proceeding too quickly and they didn't want to overtake the source material. So, at this point, they'll likely wait for the manga to finish, then complete the story. Granted, this is all a guess, and I've been wrong in the past.

Dear Inuyasha,
"Will" be turned into a human? You make it sound like a given. But, I would imagine that Sesshoumaru wouldn't take to kindly to being a human. Heck, he might just have some sort of emotional breakdown, I dunno. Can't say I've ever seen it happen before, so I wouldn't know. If his mother had been a hanyou, which she was not, then... I guess Sesshoumaru would be 3/4 youkai. ... I don't think there's a special term for that.

Dear Buyo,
Well, if you're not a dog toy, what else are you good for? You're this mysterious lump of furry flesh, so naturally anyone would be inclined to poke you. Heck, even I'd do that. *poke poke*

Dear DoT,
Probably because it wouldn't make him any stronger. Sure, the sword would be strong, but he would be powering it, so it wouldn't make much difference, other than a change in how his power was channeled. It's not like sawing off one of your arms and then bopping someone over the head with it makes you any better off. Better to use someone else's arm.

You are evading my previous question, the fact that I would know my mother's name had nothing to do with what I can call her. I never knew her, so shouldn't I at least know her name?

Or is it because you have forgotten it because of that human wench, Father? *frowns* I'm sure I saw you talking to her the other day...

Sincerely,
Sesshoumaru

Dear Sesshoumaru,
Um... actually, this is sort of a fourth wall deal. See, I'm already treading on thin ice by BSing this whole backstory for myself and... well... adding non-canon names into the mix might just be going a little too far. In that case, I only know what the readers know, and frankly can't tell you what your mother's name was. But, it's not like I've forgotten it. I'm just not allowed to say.

(psst, Housenki, what was my first wife's name?)

Dear Mia,
... Kikyou and Kagome beat on each other? I know there's some tension between them, but they don't tend to act violently towards one another. My wives on the other hand... well, I know Izayoi wouldn't act violently, but my first wife... I know she was fairly apathetic about humans and would likely be uneasy around the one that I took as a mate, but... I dunno, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for them to see each other. Then again, for all I know they could become best of friends. Women are weird like that.

Do you have any siblings? I heard that dogs give birth to multiple offsprings, right? (a litter of how many...4? 7? *shrug* i have no idea)...or did they all die?

well, there could be the possiblity of demons having only one child - wasn't Sesshoumaru your only youkai son? (before Inuyasha anyways)

Sincerely,
another random fangirl

Dear other fangirl,
Yes, dogs do often have litters, as I understand. But if I had any littermates, they either all died or were sent somewhere else, because I never remember having any siblings nor was I ever told that I did.
However, as is the case in the natural world, the more powerful a creature is, the fewer offspring it has. Animals like mice and rabbits that are likely to get killed procreate much more frequently than animals like horses or bears. And since a daiyoukai obviously has few natural enemies other than the other youkai who don't like him, it isn't necessary to have many children in order to sustain the family line.

Do you have a favourite saying? (apart from "woof!", that is)...since most people have at least one. for example Sesshoumaru - "die" or "hmph..*look of disdain* do as you wish", Miroku - "will you bear my child?", Sango - "Houshi-sama!! *insert random slapping/hitting noise*"and Kagome's "osuwari!!" along with "you got a problem with that?!"

...sorry, am i babbling now?

PS: you mentioned that you have never been schooled, then how did you teach Sesshoumaru to read?

Sincerely,
a random fangirl

Dear fangirl,
Well, I'd have to say my catch phrase would be "Omae ni mamorumono wa aru ka?", since that's practically all I ever said in the third movie. That and "Izayoi!" But, in other circumstances... I think I overuse conjunctions. "Well", "Therefore", "Anyway"... that sort of stuff. Not really a catch phrase, but more of a habit.
And I said that I'd never "gone to school", not that I wasn't schooled. It was just informal training, taught to me over many years and by many different people.

I'm glad you mentioned your truncated canine. I've really been wondering about that lately.

When Toutousai needed bonding material to repair Tessaiga, he just yanked an entire tooth (also a canine... Hrm) from Inuyasha's head and told the boy to quit bawling cuz it'd grow back soon enough.
By all appearances, the tooth does seem to have grown back (or maybe it's a prosthetic and I'm just gullible...)

Now, since spontaneous dental regeneration isn't a human trait, I can only assume it's something he inherited from your youkai blood. And since you've got even more of your youkai blood than he does, I can only assume your teeth would grow back, too.

So what's the deal, Pops? Why'd you saw it off?
Sincerely,
tooth truth seeker

Dear truthful tooth,
Under most other circumstances, yes, my tooth would have grown back quite quickly. However, I gave up most of my regenerative abilities in order to power Tenseiga. Therefore, while the tooth probably would still have grown back, it would have taken at least a year, and I didn't live that long.

Dear Taro,
'Course you can have a hug! *hug* There, whatever's bugging you, it's all better.
Anyway, my first wife caught me by beauty, and her wit reeled me in the rest of the way. She actually had quite a bit of fight in her, and since my mother was a working dog, I suppose the athletic beauty and grace attracted me. And after we'd gotten to know each other a little better, I decided I liked her personality well enough as well.
As for my second wife, it was the other way around. Since I wasn't as familiar with the human concept of beauty, it took me a while to realize just how physically attractive she was. So, it was our conversations that first hit it off in that case. Unlike my first wife, Izayoi was a human princess, meaning she was practically forbidden from doing any sort of work. But what she lacked in physical ability she bountifully made up for in heart. It was like... she exuded an aura of contentment that just made me want to be around her, even if we just sat around and did nothing.

Although I haven't had the pleasure of dying, myself, I find myself in almost all ways similar to you. My son grew up knowing nothing about me, which didn't really change until he was ready to recieve an all-powerful sword I had a hand in sealing. For all my power, I was unable to protect his mother, or even remain to watch over him. I have to ask; had you survived, would you have remained the overseer from afar? Or would you choose what I lacked the courage to do, and guide him through life, as a father?

One final thing; I envy your misfortune. In death, you need not worry of your more-mortal son dying before you do.
Sincerely,
Kratos Aurion

Dear Mr. Aurion,
"Pleasure" of dying? I hate to inform you of this, but it really doesn't feel all that good. Not to mention the afterlife can get pretty dull sometimes. Live while you've got it, man.
If I had lived longer than I had, naturally I would have stayed with my kids. That's the one thing I regret about dying, is that I'm not able to interact with my sons anymore. Well, that and the whole sex thing (thankfully you lose your drive as well, so there's nothing to relieve other than your fond memories of the act). I died so that my family could go on living, but even if that hadn't been an option, I would have stuck by them until the end. I wouldn't go through the trouble of making a family only to abandon it. It's one of those "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" sorts of deals, and even though I DID know what I had, I still almost regret allowing myself to die.

I really really really want to thank your wife Izayoi, she's so nice! ^-^ And she taught me how to write! See, I want to give Izayoi a gift as a thank you present... but I don't know what she likes, and it kinda gives the away the surprise if you go ask her "Hey! What do you want as a present?". Seeing as you're her husband who is suppose to be wise (Izayoi says you act childish most of times), I was wondering, what do you think I could get her?

Oh, and the entire "Killing-your-son-and-every-other-main-good-guy-in-the-show" thing... It was nothing personal... It's just... We get paid, and then we do what we're paid for. It's not like I hated your son or anything... (How COULD I? I've never seen him before I was suppose to kill him...)

And Jakotsu... yes ...well ummm... ABOUT him... Well, give him a break, okay? he's really quite nice once you get to know him... it's just that his sadist ways tend to go a little... overboard... at times... (Heck! He tried to kill me when we first met! Now that was SCARY! *shivers*) He hasn't got the greatest childhood, and doing... THAT to his crushes are the only way he knows how to express him self... But if you aren't a good looking guy, or a female, or someone he's sent to kill, he's actually usually pretty nice to you...(Well at least I THINK he is...) Jakotsu's getting better at his sadist thing! He really is! Okay, so maybe it's because you can't do THAT when you're dead, and you can't kill someone that's dead EITHER, but still... At least he's getting better! Actually, Jakotsu quite busy trying to run away from this mob that chases him around. I think they were some of the people he's killed before. I'd LOVE to help him out... but... I've got my own mob to worry about...

P.S. TAKE THAT RENKOTSU!!! I CAN WRITE TOO!!! *sticks tongue out* ...I wonder why he's calling me childish...?
Sincerely,
Bankotsu

Dear Bankotsu,
Aw, I'm glad that Iz-kins has found something helpful to do over there. Let's see here, what DOES she like? I mean, I know what she enjoyed doing with ME, but... I'm not about to suggest she go do that with any other guy. ... Not that she can anymore, seeing as we're all dead here. Well, since she was a princess, she didn't get out that much, so always enjoyed hearing stories about what was going on in the outside world, or even getting taken on field trips from time to time. But, uh... that was still sort of something she only did with me... And she was hardly a material person, so I wouldn't know what sorts of gifts she'd like. All I ever gave her was the fire rat cloak. So, I guess give her something from the heart. Something meaningful rather than something she just might like to have. *nod nod*

... Wait, how did YOU end up the same place she's at? Because there's no way she went to where you're supposed to be...

Dear Sango,
Wait, so... you've got this guy who keeps touching you, so you want me to touch you instead? I mean, I don't want a boomerang in the face and an accusation of sexual harrassment if I do. But, since you asked... *tentatively hugs your shoulder* ... Feel better?

Dear Inuyasha,
Ah, I think it was a rabbit, when I was four years old. Unfortunately, the critter got the best of me and got away. A year or so later, after I'd honed my skills, I tracked down that very same rabbit and gave it a good chomp. And then I dragged it home and showed my mom and... aw, she was so proud of me! See, son? Even the greats start small.

Dear Totosai,
Because I had to listen to you talk.

Dear lizard with the talking zit,
Considering I have successfully mated with females resulting in offspring on multiple occasions, I'm going to take a wild guess and say I'm male. What about you, hm? I have to say, I failed to notice any "parts" on you when I sealed you to that wall.

Sincerely,
Totosai

Dear Totosai,
Sigh... you and your off-kilter questions again. The second one is none of your business, but the first, yes, I do indeed wash myself. You recall that dogs have very sensitive noses. While I can deal with my own scent well enough, I know I always have low opinions of facing off against someone who stinks to high heaven, so I figured I should always be presentable in both form and fragrance. I admit I often went long periods of time without bathing if I felt no need to, but... once I met Izayoi I understood how important hygiene was to humans, so I made bathing a regular practice from then on.

Dear Naraku,
Huh? I thought it was obvious he... ... wait.... Um... obvious he... does no such thing! I mean, sure, he's a hanyou, so he'll transform into a human once a month, but... what gives you the idea it's the new moon, huh? Easy day to remember? Now go back and count your bees, you creepy little monkey.

Dear Inuyasha,
Aw, you can always have a hug from me, son. *hug*
But, I could sniff out the Kaze no Kizu because my nose is better than yours. So is Sesshoumaru, which is why he was able to use it when he stole Tessaiga to use with the human arm. Ah, but don't let it get you down. I'm a daiyoukai. I'm allowed to be better than you. *pat pat* ... Somehow, that didn't come across as very comforting...

Dear Kagome,
Huh? Since when can a person only care about one other person at a time? Sure, he's jealous and possessive and... yeah... but would you rather he just not care who touches you? You may not like it, but he's standing up for you in his own little way.

Dear Kagome,
Eh? I... don't think so. I died before he even learned to speak. And I can't imagine he'd learn such things from his mother... He must've picked up his vocabulary after his mother died and he was left to fend for himself in the wilderness. Naturally, most of his enemies likely had quite foul mouths, and he learned to imitate them to be more intimidating. Speaking the royal tongue that he grew up with isn't terribly threatening. His opponents probably thought he was a sissy. *sigh*

Dear Libby,
Ah, ah, forgive the confusion. Yes, I could read and write, though I learned such things over a very long time, and not until I'd grown up a bit. My mother's village was small and agricultural, so most people there were illiterate, and my father's pack were just wild dogs, so they had no need for such a thing. It was only after I'd dedicated myself to surpassing all other youkai that I understood how important literacy was, so along with training to fight, I also asked many of my teachers along the way to teach me to read and write. And with these computer things now, reading and writing is all you can do to communicate, so it's a good thing I learned!

How does Kagome's family come to own the Souunga sword? I believe, if I watched it right, the sword went threw the well? Or was passed down threw shrine keepers?

Also, if Kagome and Inuyasha mate, and Kagome stays in the feudal period. Would she be starting her own family line or continueing Inuyasha's? I would think it be her own since we don't know Inu's last name. But back to the question. If she and him started a family. And their children grew threw out the period into mordern times. When Kagome goes threw the well in the beginning of the trama, would mating Inuyasha kater on be some sort of incest?
Sincerely,
Deftones

Dear Deftones,
The sword passed through the well to a time 200 years before Kagome was born. So, it made a 500-year jump, then was passed down as a family heirloom for another 200 years. So, a little bit of both.

And if Kagome and Inuyasha had kids? Naturally, she would be continuing Inuyasha's line, as he's the man of the family and has the more influential bloodline. No one of that time period had last names aside from human nobles. Even I didn't have a last name. It's the ancestory that matters, not the name. Therefore... if I'm interpreting you correctly, are you wondering if it's possible for Kagome to be her own descendant? I guess such a thing is possible, and after 500 years, the blood wears so thin that it's hardly incest.

Dear Ed,
Tsk tsk... Well, did he have a good reason for leaving? I mean, sometimes you just get caught up in doing something and can't make it home for important things. And I'd sound like a hypocrite for being angry at him for flirting with another woman after his wife died but... really, he should have made sure his kids had time to heal first, not to mention help them work through their emotional struggles after the loss of their mother. Everyone's allowed to move on with their lives, and they rightfully should, but they shouldn't take the next step before completing the one before it. As for what you should do... well, obviously confront him about it. Nonviolently, of course. Tell him exactly how you feel and what's been going on while he's been gone. And if he doesn't care, well... then he sucks and you should kick him in the shin.

Have the marshmellow peeps tried to steal your soul yet? Evil little things, they are... Yeah... Just thought I'd warn you about them. I'd also protect the cheese if I were you. Because you never know, one day the cheese'll be there, and then the next day it'll be gone! Then what will you do, hmm? THEN what?!
I like corn.
Sincerely,
Tiff, aka the thing what stalks Naraku

Dear Tiff,
You mean the thing I needed to protect all this time was the cheese? Oh, why didn't I see it sooner?! ... Er... I don't think I actually have any cheese down here. You know how dead cheese is... As for stealing my soul, considering that's all I am anymore, I don't think I have to worry about that. Wherever the peeps may take my soul, I'll be along for the ride. And then I'll melt them into little piles of goo for Housenki to make sugar crystals out of.

Dear Sesshoumaru,
*COUGH COUGH* Whaaa...?! Look, I know I wasn't terribly honest with you about Izayoi in the beginning, but now to imply something like THAT?! That's just... not right. I'm not implying that Kagome is unattractive or anything, and I certainly respect her enough, and Izayoi was about that age when I first met her, but... ... What am I drabbling on about?! She's Inuyasha's woman! Not to mention I'm sort of dead. What kind of father would seduce away his son's girlfriend? They're good for each other, so I wouldn't dream of stepping between them! So, don't worry your fuzzy little head over it, Secchan. *pat pat* You know dead men don't get laid. ... .... *whine*

Dear Wacko Jako,
... Okay, that's it, I am SO getting Tenseiga to pester Sesshoumaru to bring you back to life just so he can kick your ass. Leave my kids alone, you sadist freak!

Dear Peaches,
Ah! That's just my away message. "Papa is out." I figured I should set up a webcam to let people know what death's really like, even though it isn't terribly exciting. And since there's only one computer in the skeleton, sometimes Housenki takes over for a while so he can search EBay for discount jewelry. How he figures he can actually get it shipped here is beyond me. Good thing people aren't too eager to sell to him when he always lists his payment method as "I'll just shoot some diamonds in your direction".

Sincerely,
Your son Sesshoumaru

Dear Sesshoumaru,
My, you've certainly been talkative today. As for your mother... hm... do you really need to call her anything besides "Mother"? There's no problem in that, is there?

Dear Inuyasha,
Well, first I'll have to dig you out of that crater. Urrghh... ah, there we go. Now for the hug. *hug* Ah, and I popped your back back into place while I was at it.
However, I think Kagome, or perhaps Kaede, are the only ones who can remove the rosary, as it is their will that it is bound to. Maybe if you asked politely?

Sincerely,
Your fateful servant Myoga

Dear Myoga,
Nah, considering Souunga just makes zombies out of whomever it cuts... it's not exactly very useful for defeating enemies. It just makes your enemy undead, so you can't kill him. Since that would put me at quite the strategical disadvantage, I just kicked his butt the old-fashioned way. And, yeah, Inuyasha needs to learn to let you suck his blood. You're a useful little bugger, and you deserve your rewards once in a while. I'd let you have a bit of mine, since I know how much you like it, but... uh... I'm afraid I'm fresh out.

Sincerely,
Your son Sesshoumaru

Dear Sesshoumaru,
"I Sesshoumaru-sama"? My, you're certainly feeling important today. And I gave you Tenseiga so you could learn for yourself the reason I gave it to you. I'm not going to just sit here and teach you life's lessons for you; you're going to have to figure them out on your own, with the instruments I provided. As for why you didn't get the other swords... because, frankly, I didn't quite trust you with them. And who's to say I didn't bestow Tenseiga upon you so that you could learn to earn the trust needed to wield the other swords, hm?

Dear James,
Actually, he can't speak in his youkai form. A dog's mouth is not built for human speech, so even if he tried, it would probably sound like, "Awaoo ah auu woo" or something. No, but once a youkai gets to a certain level, he is able to project his thoughts in the form of sound, which mimics a human voice. Given that Sesshoumaru hasn't transformed in a while, I don't know if he's capable of such a thing yet, or if he never felt the need to communicate to his opponent what he was thinking.

Dear crackhead,
... What? I mean, I know I ain't nuthin' but a hound dog, but... what?

Are you my Papa?
Sincerely,
Ai of Hourai island

Dear Ai,
I sincerely hope not, because I'd never live down having an illegitimate child... I can't recall any times that I'd gotten smashed enough to not remember, but...

Dear Sesshoumaru,
Er, actually, it was just the first thing that came to mind after you were born and it came time to name you, seeing as your mother didn't survive the experience very well.... ... *cough*

Why do you hate me? It's not like I did anything to you other than call your younger son stupid. He even owed me a couple of times, as did your oldest some when I saved that human girl that he was with.

Apparently Sesshomaru's foot that was supposed to kick my ass was his whip of light, and now it hurts!

My conclusion; Why did I deserve that?!
Sincerely,
Kouga, the young ( And handsome) leader of the wolf tribe

Dear Wimpy Wolf,
It's your lack of commitment and obliviousness to other people that I don't like, boy. So, you kidnap Kagome from my son and declare her your woman. What gives you that right, huh?! It's not like you ever beat Inuyasha in a fight or had Kagome declare herself loyal to you. And then you go around stalking the poor girl! And when you DO see her, you make some poetic drabble about how you'll never let Inuyasha keep her, that she's yours forever, blah blah... and then you promptly run away! Where's the dedication, man? If you want her, you've gotta stick around and fight to the end. Until then, you're just a wimpy wolf who needs a good smackdown.

Where were you? I only been gone for a second and now I hear you mated with a human?! What about our son, Sesshoumaru?! I am disappointed of you, Inutaisho. *shakes head*
Sincerely,
Your Ex-Wife

Dear Ex,
Er... hello, dear. And it wasn't "a second"! I'll have you know that it took me hundreds of years to fully get over you and move on! Would you rather I moped the rest of my life? I waited until Sesshoumaru was old enough to hold his own before bringing anyone else into my life. I fully understand that you might still be a little jealous after all this time, but... you were dead. What did you expect me to do?

I have nothing to use in a detailed, humorous letter, so I'll sjip straight to questions and hope I'm less tired next time.

1. Where'd you meet Totosai? It seems strange that someone as intelligent and powerful being as yourself would care apon hearing about making swords post root-canal.

2. Exactly what IS Totosai? (Fire demon, human, etc.)

3. Did you ever hear about/get involved in the Japan-wide quest for the Shikon Jewel before meeting Izayoi?

4. How are your feelings regarding penguins? And if the answer is what I think it is, would you like to join the Penguin Opposition Force?

Sincerely,
Ryumasa the Ryuhaitou

Dear Ryumasa,
Oh, it's perfectly all right. I accept all sorts of letters, witty or not. I'll answer your questions just the same, provided they're not repeats or indecent. *pat pat*

1. Actually, I met Toutousai in my teen years when visiting a youkai watering hole where the rough and tumble come to quench their thirst for spirits (and in a youkai's case, these are often literal spirits). Really, I was just there to pick a fight, since I wanted to be strong and all, and Toutousai was heckling me from the sidelines. I found out that he had a habit of giving people impossible tasks, so to further my training, I accepted his challenges. After he found out that I was pursuing his projects for my own betterment rather than as some way to get something out of him, we became friends. That and I saved his life a couple times.
2. Toutousai is a youkai. A youkai doesn't necessarily have to have a "type". We're just supernatural creatures. It's just that some of us have more elementary roots.
3. I'd heard of the Shikon no Tama, naturally, but had no interest in something that would artificially increase my power, especially at the cost of my own soul. It changed hands so often, and I was so disinterested, I never really kept track of it.
4. ... What's a penguin?

P.S. This dude named Takemaru wants to come over too. Thing is, we can't drag him up from hell. Do you want to help pull him up, as he says he's your so called-rival?
Sincerely,
Hiten, the older one of the Raaju brothers

Dear Thunder Butt,
Bankotsu? How'd he get here? He's not a youkai, last I knew. ... Ah well, I'm always looking for fresh meat to fry in Soul Caliber. If you're looking for a severe ass-pounding, take me on anytime. Oh, and leave Takemaru out of this. He'll take his virtual defeat at my hands much too personally.

We have so much catching up to do. Come by and I'll make my world famous biscuits and cook a giant cow. Your father sends his love - I think. He's gotten himself stuck in a month-long poker match again. This time it's with Taigokumaru.
Sincerely,
Mom

Dear Mom,
Er... yeah, I know. I know when I first died, the first thing I did was track down you and Pops for some good ol' catching-up time, but after a couple of centuries of that... well, I decided that I should do something productive with myself, even though I was dead. And, see! I've been helping out people who are still in the world of the living! At least... I think I'm helping. But, if you want me to come over and visit again, I'd be happy to. You know how much I love your biscuits, Mom. *kisses* Take care of yourself, okay? Oh, and tell Dad not to bet away his pants again. There aren't that many places to buy underwear in the underworld.

Hey old man,
... You know, one thing that I respected about you was your blunt honesty, but this... ... There are some things that even I won't answer.

Okay, so it's no secret that for some time now I've been trying to get the attention of your stronger, better looking son. Not too long ago I even managed to bump into him *sans brassiere* (wink wink). The dog didn't even bat an eye!

Since (throwing all modesty to the wind) I know that there's nothing the matter with ME, I've come to the conclusion that there may be something wrong with HIM. And what I want to know is, you didn't have him... [whisper] neutered, did you?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Wind Sorceress

Dear Kaze-tsukai,
Er... I can assure you, with a voice like his, the boy is no castrato. He just doesn't go following every pair of plump, bouncy bon-bons that he sees. To Sesshoumaru, family line, power, and personality are much more important than physical appearance. Besides, after what you'd just been through, did you really WANT to rely on a guy who would go rub his face into your chest the moment he saw you like that? Count your blessings that he had the decency to overlook your less-than-clothed state, given the circumstances.

Dear Carrot-Underscore-Carrot,
Wha'choo talkin' about? Of course I was in episode 5! I'm not talking about my skeleton, which makes numerous appearances throughout the series, I'm talking about the bonafide dog that is myself. Kaede's talking about the wonderfully great super-puppy that is Inuyasha's father, and boom, picture of me getting shot at by villagers. I mean, I stole one of their cows, so I guess they had a right to be angry, but hey, a guy's gotta eat.

P.S.: Oh yeah. *throws whiffle ball* and I was just wondering...can I have a hug?
Sincerely,
Ryuu no Arashi

Dear Ryuu,
Sure, Sesshoumaru has fangs. So do I. It's just that Sesshoumaru doesn't scream his head off as much as Inuyasha, and thus doesn't open his mouth very wide, and therefore you can't see his fangs all the time. But, trust me, they're there. I, on the other hand, am the one-toothed wonder, having given up my left canine for those swords. At least there's no gaping hole there, but rather a flattened-off spot that looks like my back teeth, but... it's still kinda funny-looking.

And, man, I'm really getting a collection of wiffle balls in here! Not that I mind. And of course you can have a hug! *hug*

Dear Libby,
What do you mean "school"? I... trained to hunt and fight, I guess, but "school"? I'm not really sure I know what you're talking about.

Sincerely,
Carol-chan

Dear Carol-chan,
Hm, I suppose it's a possibility. The only problem is that first impressions tend to last. Right now, I doubt Sesshoumaru sees Rin as a potential mate, nor does she feel that way about him. He's just her parent/guardian figure and best friend. The thing is, even when she gets older, the view of him that she's grown up with is not likely to change. He'll still be the parent/guardian figure, even when they're equivalently the same age. And she'll still be the little girl he saved from wolves. It's not like a daughter figure is suddenly not a daughter figure once she hits adolesence. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, I'm just saying that something is going to have to change their notions about each other, because they're not going to change on their own over time.

There's something that has been bothering me...you said that Sesshoumaru did not inherit your title as "lord of saiguku", then did he inherit your...er...(title?) as the leader of the dogs? cuz I found it weird when one of the cats (I think it's the ice cat) called him "Inu no Taisho" - if my ears are not functioning i couldn't have heard it twice...rite?

Another thing I have noticed...why is it that men in your family (does Inuyasha count as men? ..i mean his age...) never had any facial hair? Do you shave or use Nair or whatever hair removing lotions you can find, or is it because you never grown any in the first place? I mean you look great the way you are...but i'd think you'd look real funny with a goatee and a moustache *draws a goatee and a moustache on your picture and laughs uncontrollably* ... *ahem* excuse me

Sincerely,
the same innocent bystander

Dear innocent bystander from before,
Well, you heard her right, I'll give you that. But you only heard half of what she said. I believe she referred to Sesshoumaru as "Inu no Taishou no Musuko-dono", or "SON of the Leader of the Dogs". She used this term to refer to Inuyasha as well.

And, no, we don't grow facial hair. Unless we really want to. Since our human forms are of our own design, we can simply choose whether or not we have facial hair. Now, naturally we have facial hair when we are in our original forms, but that's understandable. A bald-faced dog is not terribly intimidating. Although people might think it's diseased...

Dear Sesshomaru,
Er, actually, Naraku's pretty much the only other person on that list, and since you're already after him... Go get 'im, son! Oh, and while he's not really a threat, Kouga could use a good kick in the bum.

Oi, Usumaru,
:P

Dear Angel,
Why, I'd go track down my two boys and give them extra big hugs, of course! ... Other than that, I dunno, I lived a pretty fulfilling life, so there isn't much else I'd want to do. The battle with Naraku is their fight, not mine, so it wouldn't seem fair if I just showed up and smote him for them. Same thing with Inuyasha's relationship issues. He's gotta figure that one out using his own heart. So, I guess that leaves... babysitting Rin! Ah, Jaken'll love me for that.

1.what is your fave inuyasha epsoide. i just love epsoide number 31, you know the one with jinenji.

2. how old was inuyasha when izayoi died. je was like 4 years old right.

3. can i have a hug

4. i know your ears are not ponit like inuyasha but please can i touch your ears. i know they are very sesitive but hey i have a little puppy and i am very careful with my dogs ears so please can i touch them please *looks at inu-papa with big eyes*

5. Go fetch the stick. what a very good dog you are *rubs inu-papas head*

well have fun answering qustions and fetching things for poeple. oh and one other thing. here is your reward for answering my last question *gives inuyasha a huge ganit size box of milk bones*

well bye
Sincerely,
half-breed protector

Dear protector,
1. My favorite episode is episode 5, since it's the one that I'm in!
2. I believe Inuyasha was about 9 when Izayoi died. Still young, but old enough to fend for himself.
3. No. ... I'm kidding, c'mere. *hug*
4. Erm... I guess touching is okay. Just don't pull on them.
5. Stick stick stick! *runs off with it*
... Wait, how does giving Inuyasha a box of Milk Bones help me? *whimper*

Dear Stitched,
Aw. *hug* Oops, mind that elbow...
In any case, what's wrong with constructive criticism? Believe it or not, you won't always do everything right the first time, and just because you like something doesn't mean that everyone else will. And the thing is, people often don't realize that they're doing something that others don't like unless they're told. You just told me that your friend reads you her stories, even though you don't like them. By not saying anything, you're just encouraging her to do more of the same. Hopefully she can understand that criticism is not meant as a personal threat, but rather you expressing your feelings about her actions.

Dear Curious,
My father was a member of a pack of mountain dogs, while my mother was a domesticated farm dog. I never really learned too much about their relationship, since they died when I was seven. I was their only child that I know of, but if they had others before me who died or were taken somewhere else, well... I wouldn't know. They were, ironically enough, killed by the father of the youkai who killed me. Ryuukossei's father held claim over Saigoku at that point, and I'm guessing he just felt like being an ass one day and led an army of oni to attack my mother's village and the surrounding wilderness that my father's pack controlled. Needless to say, the entire pack and village were completely wiped out, aside from me and one of the villagers who had taken me out to train as a hunting dog that day. Naturally, I was beyond pissed off, and spent the next century or two strengthening myself to give that damn dragon what was coming to him.

Dear SP,
No, Saigoku is in the southwest section of the main island, containing the modern-day cities of Osaka, Kyoto, and Kobe. My boundaries weren't set as plainly as humans set their boundaries, so there's some give and take as to how much land I actually had control over. Great ocean views, warm weather, and a nice place to get a tan. Good thing I never developed the Osaka accent, though, or else ya'll wouldn't know what I was sayin'. ... Y'all...

Dear Chihuahua,
Actually... I like those Milk Bones, since they give you healthy bones and teeth. I go through those things like potato chips. Just sitting around, watching the scenery, scarfing a box of Milk Bones... ah, death is rough.

Dear Wondering,
Well, they're the producers, so they can do pretty much whatever they want. People write autobiographies all the time. "The story of my life, even though my life isn't over yet." They write what they can now, then add appendices later as more stuff happens. Just because the TV series ends before the story is complete doesn't mean it's the end of the anime. In all likelihood, future episodes will see a direct-to-video release rather than a television broadcast, meaning that it will continue, just in a different format.

Dear gothic,
'Course you can have a hug! *hug*
And, in my opinion, people's hobbies are their own business, so long as they don't harm other people. With watching anime, you get enjoyment out of it, it's not bothering anyone else, so more power to you! Now, if you take someone like, say, Yura, she's got problems. She likes to collect hair, which while weird, I can accept. It's when she comes and tries to SCALP ME that I have issues with it!

Now, you have to remember that the same goes the other way. Your friend's sister doesn't like anime, and since that choice is of no bother to anyone, it's perfectly acceptable. Just shrug it off and move on.

Dear Inuyasha,
A male model? But what would I model? Burial robes aren't really in-fashion, and my armor has this big hole in it from where Ryuukossei impaled me... Besides, you boys have that whole youth thing going on that everyone goes for, while I'm probably around the human equivalent of 35. ... I'm not saying that I'm not attractive, since of course you boys inherited all your looks and charm from me, but... I think I appeal to a different kind of crowd. What would I do with money and chicks in the afterlife, anyway? Izayoi still has the ultimate cuddler's rights, so any other girl would be purely for physical pleasure, which kinda ceases after you die.

On the upside, if that magazine gets circulation in heaven, Izayoi would be wallpapering her house with it... *blows kisses to Izzy-kins*

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